Don't Fear the Bitch

Why do smart women often have to pretend they are dumb (giggle, smile, apologize) to be liked in the office? Apparently you can be smart (read: Bitch) or well-liked (read: non-threatening)...but its hard to get both. Not that that smart can't be liked or liked can't be smart but far too often I see women who have total control of an entire genre of items at work have to run their ship like a friendly babysitter. Don't get me wrong. I'm not saying the Liked means bad at your job. Not at all. Both options that I'm talking about are winners in the workplace. Excellent in fact. But there is the one who walks with the invisible "I rock at this job" banner above their head and those that wear the "I'm cute & approachable but not scary" tag on their back. This is not an accident. Women choose these roles. I guess we all want to be liked but why can't a person be liked and rule the school? Look at Anna Wintour. God forbid you are smart, skinny and beautiful. Then you just lose all around. Everybody hates you. Everyone thinks being pretty and smart opens up the world to a woman. From what I have seen, it only gives her a Bitch reputation. It scares men. It scares women. Hell, it probably even scares barnyard animals. And everybody wants to work with people they like, not just people that are good at their job. My issue is that when you start apologizing just to be liked somewhere down the line you start to believe you actually needed to apologize. Somehow you were in the wrong. That will chip away at anyone's self-esteem. The chips become cracks and the self-fulfilling prophecy makes you less effective at work. Its slo-mo shooting yourself in the foot. So I say, be a bitch. Be right. Be strong. Just remember what it was like to be a groveling and don't abuse your power. It's time being strong wasn't something to apologize for anymore. I'm not saying its OK to be mean, unfair, cruel, nasty & selfish in any situation work or otherwise. Confidence is nothing to apologize for. But there is nothing to apologize for if you know the way forward. Follow me.

Don't Stop Thinking About Tomorrow

Juice Fast Day 3: oh good god. Kill me now. Went to sleep with a wicked migraine. Woke up with the migraine having puppies. ugh. Drank a ton of water. Begged my dogs to have patience because I cannot take them out right now...poor doggies. Cross your paws. Dehydration, headache, nausea, fever, chills. It was baaaaaaad. I don't know if this is actually the results of detoxing or if my body is just pissed at me. I've cheated it of regular doses of caffeine, sugar, alcohol, dairy, fat and anything else that sounds yummy.

How did I get here? I don't eat all that badly. No fast food--ever. Seldom drink soda. I do eat salads on occasion. Vegetables too. Not all fried. I can enjoy a good margarita as well as any real Texan. But lack of exercise, long work days, no fruit in decades has taken its toll.

Time to give my body a break and drink fresh vegetable/fruit juice for a few days. Day 1 at work. Eased into it with some coffee with almond milk (yum). Drove to Juiceland for a few tasty choices and started my fast with the Bambaata. Fresh Pineapple, mango, hemp protein, spirulina and raw almonds. A great way to kick this off. Later, I tried the Tri-Pinnacle: coconut water, avocado, spinach and kale. Difficult but do-able. Lastly, I had the Tigerlilly: cucumber, celery, kale, spinach, parsley and wheatgrass. I tried, I tried but after the occasional sip, I could not do it. Into the sink it went. I'd rather be hungry.

Day 2: I hardly remember. I know I went to the market since I now have a fridge stuffed with fruit and veggies. I know I took the dogs on a 3 mile Park walk because my shoes are all dusty. I think I watched some TV last night but I don't recall what. Is it supposed to be like this?

Back to Day 3: So here we are. I took a nap and my headache is better. The chills are wearing off too. Nausea isn't so bad. I'm on my second juice of the 3rd day. I feel lighter and cleaner for sure. How do people do this for months at a time? I have no idea. I don't think I want to know.

I would sell my soul for some chicken fried steak right now.

Burning House of Love

This weekend I went to the wedding of a co-worker. A Texas wedding. I may be new to the state and perhaps western wedding are always like this so bear with me if you've seen it all before.   The setting: A dusty 3,000 acre ranch in the heart of Hill Country. Longhorns stroll around loose. The green-grey brush ad dry grasses blow in the wind. The car ahead of us is kicking up a mean dust storm. I'm not sure we are going in the right direction. After the initial sing 'Wedding' with an arrow, we have come across a few forks in the road and just followed the car in front. Now its stopped with the window down. I shrug. I don't know either... so we take the lead. After about 10 more minutes we see the outlines of a structure. Up ahead are a few rustic, open buildings. oh boy, my 4-inch heels are in for a treat. This is gravel-land. No smooth surfaces to walk on. What was I thinking? This place is amazing. Right out of a Spaghetti Western.   "There are two kinds of people in the world, my friend: Those with a rope around the neck, and the people who have the job of doing the cutting...."   This is the real deal. Stump seats and open bench seating by a small wooden stage with a bit of white netting tied around the top. It's brutally hot. Upper 90s easily. I am really glad not to be getting married on a day like this.   A lone guitarist sits under a huge tree playing wonderful classical Spanish guitar. The groom and ushers appear wearing crisp chocolate brown embroidered western shirts, ironed jeans and cowboy boots (down here there are no other kind). Then the bridesmaids start the march in aqua-blue dresses and dark cowboy boots. Eventually the bride, flanked by her parents comes out of the back barn and walks down the makeshift aisle. 4 months pregnant, she is radiant but damn its a hot day to be in a long dress with some extra junk dans la front truck.   The ceremony is beautiful. Touching. This couple is truly staggered at the happiness of finding each other. The brides dog is in the front row and has not taken his eyes off her since she walked past. 'I do. We cheer and the real celebration starts. DJ, bottle of Jack, cupcakes and BBQ. Night falls. The DJ rolls on. The bride has not stopped booty shaking all night. Her dog has not wandered more than 3 feet away. No matter what line dance, partner dance or modern dance she does. Her dog is always near. Every one continually takes photos of him. The loyalty is both sweet and heartbreaking. He's in for a shock in about 5 months.     Later, drunken rambling toasts, remembrances, well wishes, line dance after line dance after line dance (I expected the Electric Slide but the Macarena?). Eventually it's last call for the shuttle back to the hotel. Be there or be left in the (literal) dust.   Meanwhile back from the Ranch, celebration Part Deux spins out of control. All hail the local piano bar where co-workers do more than 10 shots (each), heavy metal karaoke (mortifying), and a near fight between a he-man and a gay man who asked his name. Drunken revelry does not even begin to describe the debauchery. "Mrs. Mullen...,""But I don't want to party in the Breakfast room" and  "I was reading her texts as she drove home texting me 'don't text! there are cops everywhere!"...Yeah, you had to be there.  The next morning, bleery eyed with Bloody Mary on my breath, we all stagger to Mexican breakfast. mmmmmm. Gooey cheese and Margaritas. The salve that cures all ills. Texas drinking makes even Frat boys look like sissies.    True Love, Texas Style. This is how we do it.