Don't Fear the Bitch

Why do smart women often have to pretend they are dumb (giggle, smile, apologize) to be liked in the office? Apparently you can be smart (read: Bitch) or well-liked (read: non-threatening)...but its hard to get both. Not that that smart can't be liked or liked can't be smart but far too often I see women who have total control of an entire genre of items at work have to run their ship like a friendly babysitter. Don't get me wrong. I'm not saying the Liked means bad at your job. Not at all. Both options that I'm talking about are winners in the workplace. Excellent in fact. But there is the one who walks with the invisible "I rock at this job" banner above their head and those that wear the "I'm cute & approachable but not scary" tag on their back. This is not an accident. Women choose these roles. I guess we all want to be liked but why can't a person be liked and rule the school? Look at Anna Wintour. God forbid you are smart, skinny and beautiful. Then you just lose all around. Everybody hates you. Everyone thinks being pretty and smart opens up the world to a woman. From what I have seen, it only gives her a Bitch reputation. It scares men. It scares women. Hell, it probably even scares barnyard animals. And everybody wants to work with people they like, not just people that are good at their job. My issue is that when you start apologizing just to be liked somewhere down the line you start to believe you actually needed to apologize. Somehow you were in the wrong. That will chip away at anyone's self-esteem. The chips become cracks and the self-fulfilling prophecy makes you less effective at work. Its slo-mo shooting yourself in the foot. So I say, be a bitch. Be right. Be strong. Just remember what it was like to be a groveling and don't abuse your power. It's time being strong wasn't something to apologize for anymore. I'm not saying its OK to be mean, unfair, cruel, nasty & selfish in any situation work or otherwise. Confidence is nothing to apologize for. But there is nothing to apologize for if you know the way forward. Follow me.